Justin Gall’s
Guide to Classroom
Survival

 1.  Always maintain eye contact with your neighbor’s paper during tests.

 2.  The teachers gives 5 extra credit points for a “quickie.”

 3.  Frequently pick fights with the teach “to show ‘em who’s the boss.”

 4.  If all else fails ask why there isn’t a “white board.”  And sue for an A on the
      grounds of discrimination.

 5.  In geography class, the mountains in colorado, aren’t as important as the
      mountains of “Jenny.”

 6.  Frequently threaten your teacher for an A.  If that doesn’t work, leave the
      class’s pet hamster on the teacher’s desk, stapled to an apple for added effect.

 7.  If your grades are slipping in a particular class, pull the fire alarm, and when
      the teacher gets all the students out to safety, jam the door shut with the
      teacher inside and set it on fire.  No records... No witnesses.

 8.  If someone’s throwing spit balls, find them after school and bash their teeth in
      with a tire iron.  Let’s see them try to spit with their mouth wired shut.

 9.  If there’s a compulsive hair tugger in class, wear a hair piece, and when they
      tug it off... Scream, and cry.

 10.  The gum underneath you’re desk is there for a reason...  To hold your
        notes during a test.


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