1. Always maintain eye contact with your neighbor’s paper during tests.
2. The teachers gives 5 extra credit points for a “quickie.”
3. Frequently pick fights with the teach “to show ‘em who’s the boss.”
4. If all else fails
ask why there isn’t a “white board.” And sue for an A on the
grounds of discrimination.
5. In geography class,
the mountains in colorado, aren’t as important as the
mountains of “Jenny.”
6. Frequently threaten
your teacher for an A. If that doesn’t work, leave the
class’s pet hamster on the teacher’s desk, stapled to an apple for added effect.
7. If your grades are
slipping in a particular class, pull the fire alarm, and when
the teacher gets all the students out to safety, jam the door shut with the
teacher inside and set it on fire. No records... No witnesses.
8. If someone’s throwing
spit balls, find them after school and bash their teeth in
with a tire iron. Let’s see them try to spit with their mouth wired shut.
9. If there’s a compulsive
hair tugger in class, wear a hair piece, and when they
tug it off... Scream, and cry.
10. The gum underneath
you’re desk is there for a reason... To hold your
notes during a test.
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